Why is it always me...?

Writer's Block: So funny I forgot to laugh

2009-10-23T13:11:29Z

People are often self-aware enough to know if they have made a bad/corny joke, so often I'll say something corny too so they don't feel embarassed and everyone has a laugh.

If it's someone I don't like or it's a joke that is trying to hard, I give that person my blankest look. No charity smiles from me buster. With those jokes, it does annoy me if someone else pretends to be amused. I get a lot of people doing that in a totally brown-nosing way at work.

emmykins @ 2009-06-16T18:42:00

2009-06-16T19:09:41Z

Title: Good Intentions, Bad Behaviour
Author: Emma
Pairing: Cassandra Cain/Bart Allen
Rating: R, maybe? I dunno. It's mostly implied.
Words: 233
Summary: Bats are lightweights. Even the hard-arse ones like Cass.

Notes: I don't own the characters, DC does. But if I did, they wouldn't have been treated like crap for the last few years.

I would like people reading this to note that I haven't written fiction, fan or otherwise (unless you count law essays!) in about 10 years, so I know I'm rusty. I have done this in about 30 minutes, didn't use a beta and I know it's crap. I just wanted to get rid of a rather annoying bunny. If more deserving or talented writers would like to adopt the said bunny, you're welcome to it!

This is not set in any particular timeline or anything, so that should cover OOC-ness. It's all rather half-arsed by me, I must say. I have moved Cass and Tim in together again, just because I think they'd like to annoy each other. Keeps 'em sane.

------------------------------------------------

It had happened during Tim’s birthday party at their shared apartment, which had been going pretty well before Jason - egged on by Steph - had disappeared and then reappeared with copious amounts of alcohol.

Cass had never really enjoyed what Steph called “the booze”, but at Steph’s insistence she allowed herself one glass. The same one glass kept being refilled by her enthusiastic best friend throughout the night.

Cass had found herself talking to Bart Allen. She had found him cute when she had been sober, but she noticed that he became more attractive with every refill. Thinking back, Cass could not recall much of what they had talked about, but somehow it had lead to her having to show him something in her bedroom.

She did recall that he had kissed her first, and it had been surprisingly good. So good, in fact, she let him remove her dress without wanting to break his fingers. What surprised her further was that despite all she had heard about him, he had taken her time with her, kissing and caressing her in ways that made her skin feel like it was on fire and her stomach do backflips.

Thinking back to that night, Cass hoped that Bart didn’t regret it, or feel he had taken advantage of her. He really wasn’t all that bad, and she wouldn’t mind trying his vibrate functions again…

emmykins @ 2007-07-29T14:32:00

2007-07-29T13:34:25Z

Thanks again for the get well messages!

I'd like to make it know how disappointed I am in England right now. Last night I went to see the Simpsons film, and was the ONLY ONE in a packed cinema to laugh at the Green Lantern line (the thing about comic book sound effects?).

It continues to tickle me, even now. But yes, DISAPPOINTED.

emmykins @ 2007-06-26T09:47:00

2007-06-26T08:46:13Z

Does anyone remember 10 years ago, when comics were nice and generally NOT teen-killing emo books of doom?

...

*sigh*

emmykins @ 2006-11-15T14:00:00

2006-11-15T13:57:42Z

Having read the first 3 Dark Tower books almost with no break, and having just finished the 840-page monster that is The Dark Tower: Wizard and Glass, and almost crying over the almost-end on the tube, I have decided to take a break from that series.

So instead I'd reading Night Shift by... Stephen King. Yes, I take breaks from Stephen King by reading more Stephen King. I can't help it, I'm addicted.

After THAT, I think I might actually have a real Stephen King break, in case I die of an overdose. Currently fighting the huge urge I have to re-read The Shining.

emmykins @ 2006-08-03T22:01:00

2006-08-03T21:03:46Z

It's been making me crack up all night. Kade didn't think it was very funny at all, but he's not a comic-geek.

emmykins @ 2006-08-02T23:00:00

2006-08-02T22:00:37Z

Your Birthdate: July 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy.
And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you.
Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights.
You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice!

Your strength: Your self sufficiency

Your weakness: You despise authority

Your power color: Maroon

Your power symbol: Hammer

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

emmykins @ 2006-07-25T07:45:00

2006-07-25T06:47:30Z

My computer is working now. I'll read up on your journals later. Have to dash to work now!

emmykins @ 2006-07-21T17:30:00

2006-07-21T16:39:27Z

If my computer is still fucked I won't be online all weekend. That means no www.mousebreasker.com

emmykins @ 2006-07-21T14:45:00

2006-07-21T13:44:59Z

Apparently Fergie from Black Eyed Peas has a video floating around for her song "London Bridge" that focusses on Tower Bridge. I attempted to spot it myself on YouTube but the video is poo.

Gee, I wish I could be just like the arrogant tossers that made THAT video!

emmykins @ 2006-07-21T09:55:00

2006-07-21T08:57:46Z

My dad's mate was going to fix my computer but obviously couldn't be arsed to turn up, which is nice of him. We're going to pay him, he's just a lazy fucker.

I watched The Notebook with Kade last night. He says I'm heartless because I said the best thing to do is stick a pillow over the woman's head, and if I ever got that way I'd except him to do that for me. Truth is, I watched my Nan suffer for 7 years and it's shitty. It was a year ago yesterday that she died and I miss her but I'm glad she's out of all that shit she had to put up with. I saw her body in the coffin and she looked peaceful and young and better than I'd ever seen her.

On the other hand, I might be heartless. But if it's heartless to think that way then don't really give a shit.

emmykins @ 2006-07-20T11:55:00

2006-07-20T10:57:42Z

My home computer is fucked. Hopefully my dad's computer-y friend can fix it.

Nothing else going on.

emmykins @ 2006-07-17T15:00:00

2006-07-17T14:03:10Z

Why am I seeing more Flying Ants? They've had their day! Cheeky fuckers.

They'd better have fucked off by the time I leave for Chili Peppers!

emmykins @ 2006-07-16T22:45:00

2006-07-16T21:53:19Z

Kade has banned me from washing-up. I dropped a plate and cut my foot and he thinks I did it to get out of drying duties. But honestly, when it happened he was so sweet about the whole thing and helped stop the bleeding and he cleaned up the broken plate. Awww.

Anyway, on Saturday we booked our holiday to Benidorm. I know people say the area is crappy but we are only going from the 15th to the 19th September and we've read great reviews for the hotel. It's all-inclusive so we don't have to worry about freaks jumping us to go into restaurants and I don't have to cook (hurrah!). After we booked that we went to Chinatown for food and then wandered around a bit. We ended up at a cool little pub that had a comedy night going on, which was pretty good for £5 each. It's near the Comedy Store.

Today I went to the Lambeth show with the rents and my aunt, uncle, cousin and cousin's kid. Was pretty good, I got some Baileys fudge and a used copy of The Gunslinger for 50p. Woohoo! Kade came over when I got home and we watched TV and went for a walk.

I've got the Red Hot Chili Peppers tomorrow night at Earls Court. Can't wait! I'm off work from 12.30 too (and all day Tuesday) so will be very refreshed. I might use my £20 Debenhams voucher for a new bikini for the holiday so will have a look at those after work tomorrow.

Eeeeeeeeediots on TV!!!

2006-07-14T10:11:06Z

So this morning they were talking about that (rather poo-looking) film Stormbreaker on GMTV.

Backstory: GMTV is notorious for having fucking morons presenting and reporting the news. The only decent person they ever had was that bird who did the reports on the war and who I think buggered off to work for CNN or someone, because obviously GMTV are shit.

So anyway, this woman is talking to the stars and she goes up to Bill Nighy. He still blatantly looks like himself despite a wee bit of hair gel or something. Anyway this woman goes up and she says something along the lines of "You're NEVER going to guess who this is - it's Bill Nighy!"

At this I turn to my mum and say "Is she taking the piss? Has she not heard of Dead Man's Chest?" and my mum's like "That's so obviously Bill Nighy" and Bill is stood there looking at this woman like she's a total brainless fuckwit and obviously thinking the same thing as just about everyone else in the country.

emmykins @ 2006-07-14T06:20:00

2006-07-14T05:17:54Z

The Godfather is the best book I've *ever* read, and I'm still only halfway through.

emmykins @ 2006-07-12T22:30:00

2006-07-12T21:30:56Z

Me: So apparently Elizabeth Swann is a strong character...
Jimmy: BOLLOCKS!

...

And there was much rejoicing.

Another list!

2006-07-12T19:10:08Z

These are the books I have read since 12th November, and the rating (out of 10):

(Please note that the ratings are based on comparisons to other books in the same genre or by the same author - I don't just randomly kick a star or two out there. If I thought something would be trash but it turned out okay, I reflect that. It's all Crime-compared-to-Crime or, say, King-compared-to-King and I've probably robbed a lot of justice from good books... feel free to tell me what you think).

The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) - 5
We Need to Talk About Kevin (Lionel Shriver) - 7
Strangers on a Train (Patricia Highsmith) - 5
Coloured Lights (Leila Aboulela) - 6
The Monkey Wrench Gang (Edward Abbey) - 7
Cold Steel Rain (Kenneth Abel) - 7
Compulsion (Keith Ablow) - 5
Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions - 8
The Belt (Ahmed Abodehman) - 8
A Spy's Kiss (Nita Abrams) - 5
The Translator (Leila Aboulela) - 7
Minaret (Leila Aboulela) - 8
Leucippe and Clitophon (Achille Tatius) - 5
We Think the World of You (J. R. Ackerley) - 5
The Plato Papers (Peter Ackroyd) - 4
Apache Law: Hellfire (Luke Adams) - 4
Anthills of the Savannah (Chinua Achebe) - 1
Flash Point (Paul Adam) - 7
Final Destination (Natasha Rhodes) - 6
Final Destination 2 (Nancy A. Collins & Natasha Rhodes) - 6
Final Destination 3 (Christa Faust) - 6
Hawksmoor (Peter Ackroyd) - 1
A Kiss Gone Bad (Jeff Abbott) - 7
Unholy Trinity (Paul Adam) - 7
Bait (Kenneth Abel) - 5
The Lambs of London (Peter Ackroyd) - 5
Murder Suicide (Keith Ablow) - 6
The Clerkenwell Tales (Peter Ackroyd) - 1
Cell (Stephen King) - 7
The Rats (James Herbert) - 5
Red (Jack Ketchum) - 6
Four Past Midnight (Stephen King) - 5
Touch the Sky (Zita Adamson) - 2
Sleeper (Paul Adam) - 4
Superstition (David Ambrose) - 4
Tooth & Nail (Ian Rankin) - 6
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) - 7
Final Destination: Destination Zero (David McIntee) - 2
Black Jack Point (Jeff Abbott) - 7
Buried (Mark Billingham) - 8
'Salem's Lot (Stephen King) - 8
Psychopath (Keith Ablow) - 4
Creepers (David Morrell) - 1
Crosscut (Meg Gardiner) - 5
Darkhouse (Alex Barclay) - 6
The Vanishing (Tim Krabbe) - 6
Haunted (Chuck Palahniuk) - 6
The Omen (David Seltzer) - 4
Velocity (Dean Koontz) - 6
Psycho (Robert Bloch) - 4
Ring (Koji Suzuki) - 8
Psycho 2 (Robert Bloch) - 4
Damien: The Omen 2 (Joseph Howard) - 6
The Omen: The Final Conflict (Gordon McGill) - 5
The Omen IV: Armageddon 2000 (Gordon McGill) - 3
The Omen V: The Abomination (Gordon McGill) - 1

I'm currently reading The Godfather, which is highly likely to be the first book I give 10 out of 10.

There are books I thought I'd love (eg. Psycho, which I HATED although loved the 1960 film) and books I didn't think I'd enjoy (Ring is one of them, plus since I don't really like Peter Ackroyd I was surprised when I enjoyed The Lambs of London).

Any thoughts?

Any ideas on what I should read next?

Birthday presents

2006-07-12T18:45:57Z

5 days after my birthday, I felt the need to list my presents:

£100 towards my gorgeous 8.2 megapixels digital camera (parents)
The new Super Mario Bros game from Nintendo DS (parents)
Handbag (Kade - dumb fact about me - I used to say and spell it HAMbag)
Silver ring with (obv. fake, but it doesn't matter as it isn't a wedding ring or anything) pink and clear stones in (Kade)
The new Belushi book (my sis)
2 boxes of Chocolates (Eve and Angus)
A little springy photo-holder (Catherine at work)
A keyring with a bear holding the letter E (Jerri at work)
£20 Debenhams voucher (work)
4 cans of Budweiser (Eve)
Birthday Girl balloon (Eve)
Flowers (Eve)
"The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl" book (Bob)
"The Xenophobics Guide to Australia" book (Ben)
Travel Guide to Dominican Republic (Ben) - I can't wait for my holiday!
Big Brother DVD Game (Sara)

So all-in-all and fantastic birthday! And if anyone wants to write me some Cassandra Cain porn (no Tim please) feel free!

For when you're bored...

2006-07-12T14:53:05Z

Add impulsebot@hotmail.com to your MSN. It's one of those MessengerBot thingys.

Now call it a twat over and over again.

Fantastic!

emmykins @ 2006-07-12T07:00:00

2006-07-12T06:07:53Z

I have seen the light! I now realise how hot Johnny Depp is.

I think I resist before because I've seen Nightmare On Elm Street... more importantly, his HAIR in Nightmare On Elm Street.

And on THAT subject: I really don't understand how people who claim to be HUGE Depp fans haven't seen Nightmare on Elm Street. Not liking horror is not an excuse - most of the people I know have seen Sleep Hollow and that was pretty gross.

And yes, I have seen Dan Aykroyd's first film, so I can be judgemental.

emmykins @ 2006-07-11T22:15:00

2006-07-11T21:19:53Z

Why do people think The Stand is better than It? Don't get me wrong, The Stand is a fantastic book, but It is so much more interesting.

It's probably to do with how government-engineered superflu could happen, whereas spider alien thing laying eggs in a sewer and disguising itself as a clown... not so much. Personally, the things that aren't supposed to happen are scary which is why I prefer It.

Sorry, just ranting before bed.

emmykins @ 2006-07-10T20:30:00

2006-07-10T19:32:22Z

So was anyone else very very happy when Naomie Harris turned up in Dead Man's Chest?

Just me?

Just me who thinks she was infinitely cool in 28 Days Later and is way better than Keira Knightley (who looks like she has repeatedly been hit in the face with an iron - plus I'm using my cheeseburger icon as that's what Keira needs).

Mmmmmmmmmm... Naomie...

Can you ready this? Only 49 people on livejournal can.

2006-07-05T21:19:55Z

Can you read this? Only 48 people on livejournal can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I wuas rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

Thhe rset can be a taotl mses and yhou can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huuamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it.

emmykins @ 2006-06-16T16:15:00

2006-06-16T15:17:39Z

Had I been born a month, a day and 5 hours earlier, I could have been the Antichrist. Maybe.

Or I still could be, and maybe I can pass myself off as fashionably late.

My birthday will fall on 07/07/07. Anyone wishing to make a film about me may do so, but Angelina Jolie MUST play me and she MUST play with me. Hugh Jackman can play Kade cos, ya know, Aussie.